Big Trouble in Little China

Buy it, Rent it, Net-Flix it, Skip it or. Why aren't you watching it right now.

Big Trouble in Little China


Kurt Russell as Jake Burton, Kim Cattrall as Gracie Law, Dennis Dun as Wang Chi, James Hong as David Lo-Pan, And Victor Wong as Egg Shen.

This film holds a special place in my heart. While not a great introduction to Asian culture, it shows small bits to get you interested. So the story of Jack Burton.

Jack Burton truck-driver and shit-talker master is driving to San Francisco to make a delivery and see old friend Wang Chi. After a night of playing and drinking Jack and Wang head to San Francisco International Airport to pick up Miao Yin, Wang's Fiancee. While at the airport Jack encounters Gracie Law attempting to hit on her he fails. As Miao is exiting customs she is grabbed by a gang called the Lords of Death. They grab her with no security present? I mean are there no cops at all in San Francisco. Trailing the Lords to China town Jack and Wang-Chi encounter a funeral procession for a recently Assassinated leader of a gang called the Chang Sing. The procession is stopped by the Wing Kong,who have the intial battle are joined by "The 3 Storms and Lo Pan" After running over Lo Pan and seeing no damage to him, Jack and Wang run to escape. After escaping to Wang-Chi's resturant to regroup. Gracie Law reappears asking who was the woman kidnapped by the Lords of death. Wang-Chi is shocked to learn that she has been sold into a sex slave operation. Wang-Chi introduces Jack to his friend Eddie Lee. They discuss how to get Miao back as getting the police will not get involved and that Gracie Law says her face would make doing the job harder. Burton decides to help. He enters the brothel asking specific questions about a girl with green eyes. As green eyes are rare in China. Not sure if that is true. Moving on. Once Jack is inside the brothel it is attacked by the 3 storms. The 3 storms Thunder, Rain, and Lighting kidnappe Miao Yin. Jack is of no matter to the Storms as he attacks one and the storm barely notices. Heading back to Gracie's apt. Jack demands answers. He is told that no one knows for sure. Wang-Chi and Jack decide to head to Lo-Pan's company to see if that could lead some where. While that is going on Eddie and Gracie head back to Wang-Chi's restaurant where they meet Egg Shen who is the resident expert on Lo-Pan. Egg explains the legends and myth about Lo-Pan. Saying that Lo-Pan is cursed to walk the earth forever unless he finds a special girl with green eyes. But he must also murder her to complete the debt. As Wang-Chi and Jack are caught trying to break into Lo-Pan's stronghold they are caught and beaten. Taken to Lo-Pan Jack is shocked to see an old man in a wheel chair as the one he say was walking. Jack questions Lo-Pans sanity and is forced back to his cell. Gracie and Eddie along with a reporter named Margo attempt to locate Jack and Wang-Chi. They themselves are captured. Jack and Wang-Chi escape and save  Eddie, Margo, and Gracie along with numerous other young women being held by Lo-Pan. As they escape the compound Gracie is captured again by a monster that serves Lo-Pan. After being seen by Lo-Pan, Gracie is also to marry him as she has green eyes. Jack and Wang-Chi team up with Egg Shen and Chang Sings to defeat Lo-Pan....

This movie is one that you can either go with or you will hate it. Kurt Russell play Jack as the shit-talking know it all. He gives the lines that pop and zing that some movies leads lack. Along with Russell is Dennis Dun who is the true hero of the story although he takes the back sit to Jack. If you notice during the movie everything Jack does is at the basic core of being the side kick. He makes the jokes. He gets his but kicked. He talks big game. But its Wang-Chi who is the hero getting his true love. He is all business. Where Jack talks Wang-Chi acts. Jack sees himself as the hero. James Hong gives performance of his career to me. Every time I see him on screen its Lo-Pan. Victor Wong as Egg-Shen is a treat.He and Lo-Pan have a history that is never revealed completely. That would make a great movie on its own.

The impact this movie has is seen in video games. Lo-Pan's look is same look Ed Boon and John Tobais used for Shang Tsung in the first Mortal Kombat game. The hats wore by The 3 storms are seen on Raiden. The Egg-Shen is also one of base elements of Raiden where he knows what Lo-Pan is what he can do. Enter the Dragon and Bloodsport influenced Mortal Kombat also but you can see some of the frame work here.

The film was originally suppose to be set in the old west. But seeing as it was easier and better cost effective it was changed to present. The film was a bomb when it first came out. On the commentary for the movie John Carpenter said the film was marketed wrong. The main reason is because they didn't know how to market it. But it gained a cult following and has become a repeat viewing in most peoples homes that have watched it.

So is it a rent, skip it, net-flix it, buy it, or a why aren't you watching this now? It's a why aren't you watching thisright now. Goodbye Mr.Burton.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Buy it, Rent it, Net-Flix it, Skip it or. Why aren't you watching it right now.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. LXG for short.

In an alternate Victorian age, where the characters of novels actually live the fate of our world is in their hands. Sounds like a great mix.

Starring Sean Connery as Allen Quatermain. Naseeruddin Shah as Captain Nemo. Pita Wilson as Mina Harker. Tony Curran as Rodney Skinner the invisible man. Jason Flemyng as Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. Stuart Townsend as Dorian Gary. Along with Richard Roxburgh as M. With Shane West as Tom Sawyer. Also Sean Connery's hair piece.

In 1899 Europe stands on the brink of war. A man calling himself The Fantom. He attacks London looting a bank with drawings. Kidnaps scientists from Germany.Each blames the actions on the other and  are ready to cut each other to pieces. MI-6 decides to bring together a team of extraordinary people together to prevent this. Starting with Allen Quatermain who has exiled himself to Kenya after losing his son. Seeking to be left alone, A decoy that Allen uses to keep story seekers away is murdered and Allen avenges the decoy's murder. M's righthand man Sanderson Reed witnesses the entire thing. Stating that a war in Europe would spread to the rest of the world Allen agrees. Heading to England Allen is welcomed by M to join the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. M explains that previous times of trouble The League has been brought together. Captain Nemo appears with Rodney Skinner followed by the arrival of Mina Harker a chemist. Allen not being impressed states as much. M states that Mina's previous meetings may get a member of The League to join the group. Given their mission the group leaves to head to the home of one Dorian Gary. Allen notices a young man following the group but says nothing. Arriving at Gary's home the group is caught by The Fantam. He makes them a one time offer to join him. Allen noticing one of guards for The Fantam is dressed differently  makes eye contact and then all hell breaks loose. Captain Nemo displays his martial arts discipline of Shin Sun Do. Skinner removes his clothing that he was wearing to allow the others to see him, engages in grabbing and beating soldiers with their own guns. The Fantam escapes. While regrouping one last henchmen grabs Mina the others lower their guns and Mina reveals that she is Nosferatu. And no she isn't Italian. A vampire for those who don't know. Allen questions the man that had been following the group. He introduces himself as Tom Sawyer of the U.s. Secret Service. Traveling to Paris on Nemo's Nautilus the group captures Mr.Hyde. Hyde who looks like a huge human-monkey is offered a chance to return to England if he helps The League fight the The Fantam. Hyde agrees and changes back to Dr.Jekyll. Allen and Sawyer start to form a bond, explaining to Sawyer that his shooting enough bullets until he hits his targets is very american. We also learn that Mina and Gray have had a previous romance. A message from M the group leads the group to Venice to protect a peace conference that with stop the coming war. When The Fantem's men start blowing up the supports to sink the city The League stops the sinking of Venice but learns of a traitor in the group. The Fantam who tells the heroes his plan before he thinks he kills them. (I guess he didn't see a James Bond movie). And the credits roll. Just kidding. The heroes live to set-up a showdown with The Fantam....

Where to begin. For those who don't know LXG was a comic created by Allen Moore and Kevin O'Neil. Moore who is well known for not wanting any of his works to be translated to film.

The film fails on some levels, a few in gets right but mostly it gets things wrong. Ok the good. Connery is as always a blast. Quatermain is haggard and beaten. Kinda like how Connery was in real life. This is as of Dec 7th,2012 his last on screen performance. He stated in the past that he didn't star in The Matrix or The Lord of the Rings film because he didn't understand them. The man is James Bond. If this is his last film it's a shame. Naseeruddin as Nemo is great. Haven't seen him in anything since, His part was under played. Pita Wilson nothing to say. Tony Curran who is talented but always under used. Here he has the best lines and plays the part in want seems like a reckless who the hell care way. Flemyng as Hyde/Jekyll is played with the Dr. of science who unleashed the monster. Stuart Townsend if he is as much of dick in real life as people say then they casted right. For background he was fired from Thor,he was playing Fandral, because he was acting like the movie was about his character and not Thor. He was also fired from The Lord of the Rings films, he was Aragon, so go with that. Again all rumors but you never know. Shane West as Tom Sawyer. Now producers for the film felt that the American film watchers would not watch the movie without an America hero so Sawyer was shoehorned in. In a cut scene we learn what became of Huck Finn. West and Connery build a father and son like relationship as stated earlier, but it felt rushed.

The Effects while great in some places like The Nautilus and landscapes. The outfits and props are great. Now this film came out in 2003 same year as the Ang Lee Hulk film, but where that film had a hulk that was to green and looked like Shreik, Hyde was a mess. Plain and simple so scenes  they went live special effects which look horrible.(much like my spelling). I'm a huge fan of in camera special effects. Godzilla being a perfect example. Yes the rays where added but until the 1998 Tristar screw-up Godzilla had been a man in a suit. Back to Hyde the CGI  effects suffer trying to match to what was done in camera and failed. It's a rough rough outing.

So is it a skip it, rent it, Net-flix it, buy it, or a why aren't you watching this right now. It's a skip it.

Predator

Buy it, Rent it, Net-Flix it, Skip it or. Why aren't you watching it right now.










The movie Predator. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weather, with Kevin Peter Hall playing The Predator. When you look at the movie it starts off with a strange looking alien ship shooting a pod of some kind to the surface of the earth. Next we meet Arnold and his team of badass soldiers. Bill Duke as Mac explosive expert. Jesse Ventura as Blain heavy weapons. Sonny Landham as Billy the indian tracker. Richard Chaves as Poncho marksman. And last but not least Shane Black as Hawkins the radio man. Along for the ride are Apollo I mean Carl Weathers as Dillon with Eilpidia Carrillo as Anna. Everyone in the jungle, things go boom. People die. Spines ripped out. Arms cut off. More things go boom.

The movie: After being called into do a snatch and grab operation by war buddy and now a CIA officer Dillon. Arnold playing Dutch is lead to believe that it is simple job. After being briefed on why he and his group were called. Dutch has doubts about the mission. But trusting Dillon he goes along. Dropping into the jungle the group finds the helicopter that was carrying the package that they were looking for with no one there they instead find a squad of Army Green Berets dead. Dillon stating he has no idea who they are states that they need to find the package. Billy tracks the rebels that shot down the choppper back to there base where we find Russian soldiers killing the hostages that were aboard the helicopter. Dutch and his group super murder. everyone. Blain gets shot in the arm, when Poncho notices and brings in to his attention his reaction is one of the best on-liners ever. "I aint got time to bleed." After the killing is done. Dillon is confronted by Dutch saying he lied to him. The entire story was bullshit. Dillon tells Dutch that his men where in the helicopter and he sent the Green Berets to find them and when they didn't come back he called Dutch. When calling for a recuse copter the team is told that they will have to walk out of the jungle to get across the border. Finding a remaining rebel named Anna the group heads back into the jungle to get out of the hellhole. As they move thru the jungle Anna attempts to escape and Hawkins gives chase. Capturing Anna asking her to stop, Hawkins is killed by The Predator. Finding nothing but his cloths and equipment the group searches for Hawkins. Blain is killed and after spotting a shadow Mac grabs Blain's Mini-gun and lays waste to the forest. The others join in and clear the timber from a section of the area. Dutch asks Mac what he saw. Mac who just lost his best friend is at a loss for words. Poncho and Billy search the area as Dutch and Dillon look at Blain's body. The wounds are inhuman. Poncho and Billy return saying that they hit nothing. After a restless night Dutch decides to set up an ambush for The Predator. Poncho is injuried and Mac snaps running off to chase The Predator. Dutch and Anna grab Poncho with Billy leading the way to the helicopter. Dillon seeing no way out goes after Mac telling Dutch to wait at the copter.The Predator blows the back of Mac's head off. He then blows off one of Dillon's arms. Then impaling him. Billy decides to stay and fight The Predator. It is quickly over for Billy who for his trouble gets his spine ripped out. Poncho and Dutch along with Anna are attacked by The Predator with Poncho getting shot in the head. Dutch tells Anna "get to da copter" Leaving Dutch to fight the Predator one on one.

The movie plays well. The action scences are shot in a way that you don't get lost and you know who is doing what. The opening scence with the alien ship could have been cut. Would have let the discovery of the predator a better payoff. If the opening scence had been left out it would have left audience wondering what the hell was that, when the thermal vision came on. The thermal vision has become a hallmark of the series. The Predator was going to be played by Jean-Claude Van Damme as an uncredited special effect. Not wanting that according to Jesse Ventura led Van Damme to be fired according to Ventura. The thinking that Arnold and his men are all huge guys a smaller and faster ninja like creature would play well opposeing them. The great Stan Winston was contacted by John McTiernan by way of Arnold to help redesign the monster. Arnold had worked with Winston on The Terminator. As Stan went to work he was also working with James Cameron, Cameron is reported to have said that the manibles were something he always wanted to see on a alien. Kevin Peter Hall who was 7'2 had a hard time filming the fight scences with Arnold because the eye sockets on the predator suit blocked his vision. he and arnold would rehearse and walk thru the sequence numerous times to get it right.

Next to True Lies this is one of my favorite Arnold movies.

So is it a skip it, it a rent it, Net-flix it. or a Buy it? Or a why aren't you watching it right now? It's a why aren't you watching it right now.

The Dark Knight Rises

And here we go. Where do we begin. Yes I know I started the post with two lines from the series it seems fitting. AMAZING. Is how I would describe this film. From the opening shot to the rise at the closing. The main theme of the 3 Nolan batman films I feel has been What is a symbol mean? From the start of the first film we follow Bruce Wayne as he rises to a hero to the fall guy back to a hero.
The film starts with an amazing plane takeover that will leave your jaw on the floor. The first time I heard Bane's voice I was a little taken back. The laugh factor is there you can either go with it or not. Go with it and enjoy if not get up and leave. Cutting to Gotham we are told that the Harvey Dent Act has pretty much killed crime in Gotham. Batman has taken the fall for the deaths that Two-Face committed at the closing of The Dark Knight. We find that Bruce Wayne has shut himself off from the world hanging up his cape and cowl. The death of Rachel Dawes in TDK has left him broken well that and falling off a two story building at a very bad angle. We meet Selina Kyle as she breaks into Bruce's safe that was suppose to be the best safe money can buy. Anne Hathaway plays the role of Selina like she is having a blast. In the comics Selina is played as good/bad here is the same. You see her play the part of good/bad really well. Her disappearing act on Bats was one of those moments where you laugh and really enjoy it. Michael Caine is given less to do in this movie but his moments of trying to make Bruce see beyond Batman are touching. You see that he wants Bruce to move on have a life and a family be happy. The great Morgan Freeman is always reliable. Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon looks that he is burning from the inside just waiting to explode. I was really hoping that we would get the Oldman from The Professional. I have always thought that he is underused in the movies. I wanted "Get everyone" " what do you mean everyone?" EVERYONE"  moments but he gives it his all. Matthew Modine as Foley just oozes backstabber. But the real break thru is Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake. His rise is one of the movies best arcs.  Now to Tom Hardy as Bane. Heath Ledger as the Joker will be hard to top no matter who plays the role. Where Heath was able to use his entire face here Hardy is forced to use his bodies size and his eyes. Much like The Joker there is no force to stop Bane. The unstoppable force vs the unmovable object.
Some reviews have said that the plot gets a little sloppy and hard to follow during the time Bruce puts the mask back and the breaking of the bat till the return of The Batman. I followed it just pay attention. Its really not that hard of course some people just want things easy as possible. Nothing wrong with just having to think its not that hard trust me.
There are some really great little moments and cameos. Some you are going to see from miles away. Some not a chance you see coming. Now to The Joker. He is no where to be found. His name is barely said. I think maybe twice. You see more of Two-Face. It is for the good of the picture that way.
The fights between Bane and Batman are brutal. Bane's breaking of the bat is played to show his pure unstoppable physical domiance of an out of shape Batman. This is a way to get around how Bane broke Batman the first time in the comics by releasing the Rogues of Arkham and Blackgate. That pushed Batman to his physical limits and when Bane confronted Batman in Wayne Manor. Batman weak and spent was broke. The famous breaking the back is there but its not as dramatic. The breaking of the mask is the point of the battle that is played up. You see Batman try everything that he has. But he is not up to the fight and it shows. The water failing on the batsuit gives it an defeated look as Bane just beats him.
I won't say much more on the fact that the rest is worth seeing and enjoying. More than once. Nolan brings his Dark Knight Saga to a close in a fitting end. We will miss it. Trust me We will miss it. And by the way Robin is in it. Trust me.  Go out see it and enjoy. The fire rises and the fire dies. Thank you Christopher Nolan. 12 out of 10.

We are back.

It has been over a year since the last post, so many things have changed and more are coming. Last time we talked it was just after Thor had been released. We also had Captain America, Green Lantern, X-men First class, and what we thought would be the last Transformers before a reboot. Let us look back at those films real quick. And here we go... .

Green Lantern: A waste. Ryan Reyonlds as Hal Jordan great idea. Mark Strong as Sinestro perfect. The story was a mess. Bad acting from very one except Strong and Ryan. The effects while strong in some parts. The way the yellow power ring is created is horrible. At least make it a good reason for Sinestro's fall. The rest of the Lantern corp. while voiced perfectly were underused and simply a waste of time.

 Captain America: Chris Evans who was the perfect Johnny Storm in the FF films became Steve Rogers. The pacing and setups were almost perfect. Hugo Weaving as the Red Skull was great casting but was a paint by the numbers villain. Tommy Lee Jones as the cranky old general was well Tommy Lee Jones as a cranky general. The tacted on ending of Captain waking up at the end of the movie instead of the after credits sequence was forced. But it allowed the teaser for The Avengers. More time could have be spent on the Howling Commandos, sequels I guess.

Xmen: First Class. The big unexpected of the summer. Inspired casting on all fronts. Best cameo all summer. Also best costumes from the orginal source. James Mcavoy and Micheal Fassbender both at the same time make you see the influences of Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen but make the roles their own. Interested to see where 20th Century Fox goes with this series. They have made up for X3.

 Transformers 3: Micheal Bay. The man can blow up more crap than anyone alive. For a PG-13 movie you see a lot of people being killed. You see Prime go off on robots just tearing and slicing them in half. Yet Bay doesn't get credit for that.People jump down the man's throat for changes that are made to certain designs and characters. The thing that gets me is that no matter what things will be different. Did you know that in his orginal toy The toy that became Megatron was a good guy. or was it Starscream. The Point is that changes happen. I'm a huge Deadpool fan. Everyone knows this. In Wolverine I got maybe 15 minutes of the Deadpool i wanted. Next to that we got Barakapool. I was pissed but I got my little bit, movies that are made for the price tag that most of these are can't make every fan happy. Hell there are some that hate The Dark Knight. Fanboys have become spoiled.

Thor

The movie Thor oh where oh where to start? Ok the title should be Avengers: Thor Begins. Of all of the Big 3 Avengers this one is the one that could have gone wrong really fast. Just the basic story is enough to really question things about our history as it involves the Gods of ancient cultures.
The story is very straight forward. You know who the bad guys are and who the good guys are. Even the twists you can see coming. but its basic story telling. I would have preferred the entire movie be set in Asgard but it plays really well there. The earth interaction is what most people come to expect.
Chris Hemsworth as Thor is amazing you believe that he is the thunder god. Tom Hiddleston as Loki is the films best part. He plays the part with a degree of evil not seen in Marvel films yet. I felt sorry for him in the respect that he is in his mind doing what he thinks needs to happen to be king. Always second in everything to Thor, he plays everyone against each other telling them what they need to hear. The Warriors 3 are underused. Again a movie set in Asgard would give them all at least a better chance to shine. Jaimie Alexander as Sif is great you see that see loves Thor and cares for him a point in the comics that was left out. Anthony Hopkins doesn't phone it in like in Wolfman or the last ten films he has made. When he strips Thor of his power and the fight they have he is hurt and devastated with what he has to do. Now to the earth cast Natalie Portman as Jane Foster is actually trying instead of her Star Wars pictures. Stellan Skarsgård as Eric Selvig is set for more things. And Kat Dennings and cleavage are great. Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson is the man that holds the universe together. Waiting for him to have more things to go.
Now for the little things. All the Robert Blake is an injoke to Thor's secret id in the comics. The weapon's locker in Asgard holds the Ultimate weapons of the marvel universe. The Infinity Gauntlet, an all powerful weapon capable of controlling aspects of reality (soul, time, space, power & mind) in the "Marvel Comics" universe is shown as well as the Cosmic Cube. Barton is Clint Barton aka Hawkeye a future avenger is in the film but unless you know who he is its like ok the guy took a bow and arrow instead of a gun. His 5 to 6 lines are ok showing how the character will be shown. Thor and Agent Coulson's interaction is setting the stage for the Avengers to call for Thor in a time of need. The after credit scene that ties into the Avengers and Captain with Sam Jackson telling Eric Selvig that the cosmic cube is here and it could lead to something with Loki being the evil that brings The Avengers together. Idris Elba as Heimdall is great in the role that shows the power of the character. 7 out of 10.

"we drank, we fought he made his ancestors proud."

News

Since the last time we spoke alot has happened to most of us who write on this blog but another time. Now A Recap on what has happened since the lasttime i sat here above the earth.
The Dark Knight Rises- I think that of so many things like who is the new villian in batman 3 going to be. Riddler Hugo Strange, or KIller Croc. Have been revealed to the world or have they. I am really excited about the new movie. Although we know who some of the villians are we really dont know anything about the movie. All we know God (Nolan) is involved. that is good enough for me. I trust the man. I was a huge Batman Begins fan and i helped make Dark Knight the 3rd highest grossing film of time. ( Highest grossing comic book movie of all time)

Superman or should i say Man of Steel. Zack Synder has been hired to direct Superman reboot\sequel. I saw Superman Returns 3 times in the theater so yeah i can tell that movies issues. Kal Penn kicking Supermans ass is a big one. Its that i dont love harold and kumar, just not in Superman. That is why I really wanted to see Brandon Routh get another shot at the role hes been in the suit you dont have to make me see someone else. But in order for a clean break someone new must take over the role. It has that tried but true feeling. Just give him something to punch. Say how bad Smallville is but they never were afraid to let Clark\KalEL\blur\whaterer the hell he is called punch someone sometimes more that once. We have seen Live action Green Arrow to Aquaman on the show.

Green Lantern. We know now that Parlellx is the main villain with hector hammond as the enemy for the first movie and the chance of sinserto to fall to the dark side.- Production art leaked out of Qa and of the Green Lantern graveyard. The first trailer was a complete failure from the fx not being ready to the release on the et show. Warner Bros. Dropped the ball on the launch but then recovered for second trailer that showed more of what will sale tickets. The movie is being targeted at the little boys to sell toys. So even if the movie fails WB can make their money back in some way.

Thor- Footage and a ton of pics. I really liking the vibe off of the footage. Agent Cousten going over where thor got his training.And how he Thor made shields agents look like mall cops. I think maybe to much on a major plot point but it was to expected. I love the humor that coulsten is using Its Like I have seen this before and i will see it again. With the release in lease than a month the companies are full steam ahead for the launch. A rubber Thor hammer on sale. Just having the hammer is great,

Captain America- Hugo Weaving as Red Skull. I called that one. Numerous other name actors in the film. The shield throw and the pre-super soldier steve rogers just make me want the movie now. You can see the start of want i call Marvel-Tech in the movie. The Hydra soldiers and planes all giving it a alternate 1940's look something you can think could have happened maybe.

The Flash- Bradley Cooper is the name we hear but he doesnt want to say yes. Ign has quotes I wont do the flash. He said he wont do ateam and he did

Avengers-Sam "Nick Fury" Jackson picked up a new shield agent in Maria Hill played by Cobie Smulders of How I met you mother fame. Also Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye.

The Hobbit has also started filming.

Spiderman The Only reason to write about this is who is Gwen Stacy Emma Stone.


Now more information to come I promise and it wont take six months

All information was taken from Aintitcool.com comicbookmovie.com and Ign.com
I am affilated with any of those sites and my opinoins do not reflect there opionions and thoughts I read there pages and condence it for you my dear readers/
Godzillapool Out

Hollywood; stay out of my childhood memories. Pt 1

Hi Fellow nerds,

First off I would like to apologize for the lack of updates, been a busy weekend. But anyways on with the show. This is going to be more of a rant than a review so I sincerely hope some of can empathize and relate. Some of you may or may not have been around for the 80's and even early nineties to remember some of these wonderful toys and movies that I am going to mention and if not I hope you will wikipedia them and find out more. So without further procrastination lets get on with the rant!.

Ghostbusters:

Now I know a lot of you know Ghostbusters and I sincerely hope you do or your nerd title must be revoked. This classic of a movie was made in the late 80's by Ivan Reitman (lets not mention some of his other movies), starring Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis and Sigourney Weaver just to name a few. Of course the name suggests that they went around capturing ghosts and charging people for the service. They end up saving the city of New York from a giant marshmallow man and some dyke looking bird in skin tight Lycra and a extreme haircut that looks like a ironing board. The movie has memorable lines and a well written script. They made a successful toy line, comics and cartoon series, hell they even made a sequel (which in my opinion was not as good) which I fondly remember. I had loads of the toys and comics, I enjoyed every second of it and remains one of my most fond childhood experiences. So why am I ranting about this great franchise? well...they are planning Ghostbusters 3. I just hope to god they do not mess this one up. I hear rumor that the original cast are signed or going to sign up for it (with the exception of Rick Moranis and maybe Bill Murray). Ivan Reitman is back directing and Harold Ramis and Dan Ackroyed writing the script. I hope I really do that they remain faithful and do not allow Hollywood to destroy this great franchise as they have done with so many other's. I am worried about this project.

Rage meter: 50%

Transformers:

Holy fuck, where can I start with this great franchise. Again this was created in the 80's by Hasbro (correct me if I am wrong here fellow nerds) as a hugely successful toy line. I had so many of these toys from Gen 1 and still do. I remember having epic battles between the Autobots and Decepticons, hell they even managed to destroy the Millennium Falcon and crush Darth Vader under foot. I would spend many a day hold up in my room only limited by my imagination. There was times I would transform Megatron into that awesome sniper rifle and pretend to shoot my neighbors out of the window. I remember watching the movie over and over again weeping like a little girl because Optimus Prime dies, watching wide eyed as Unicron destroyed planets. I read the comics over and over again also, reading in horror as zombie transformers came back to life. Any self respecting 80's kid loved the Transfomers and transformed many into the nerds we know today. So here I am in my early 30's still going misty eyed at the thought of those gone by memories. I whooped with joy when I first heard they was finally going to do a live action movie, then my heart sank when I heard about the useless fuck that was directing it. Yes that is right, Michael fucking boom boom Bay. What where they thinking? we are talking about the same useless self righteous jackass that made the obnoxious pile of horse vomit that was Bad Boys and Pearl Harbor.

^^^DOUCHE^^^

I honestly think he didnt give two squirts of piss about the franchise. He probably lost track of what he was doing while he was banging some anorexic bitches in his five story trailer. He must have thought "I know, I am going to find the most idiotic bimbo who cant act and drape her across Bumblebee and hope people dont notice what a god awefull pile of shallow shit I am making. OH OH I know like always I am going to dazzle my audience with some fucking huge explosions..yeah BOOM BOOM MOTHA FUCKA'S". So what did we end up with? Shia LeBouf an babbling rectal cavity who is trying to get in Meagan Fox's STD infested panties. Bumblebee who for some unknown reason chooses these two idiots to save the world from the menace that is the Decepticons and plays match maker. Finally what brings my piss to a boil is Optimus Prime. There is a scene where Shithead LeBouf and Meagan Slut is trying to find these fucking glasses and the Autobots are "hiding" in his garden from his parents. Yeah giant fucking robots prancing around trying to avoid the parents who somehow dont notice. Anyways Optimus Prime steps on something which smashes and he says this...and I quote..."Oh my bad"....Optimus Prime, the biggest bad ass this side of Cybertron saying my bad! WHAT THE FUCK!. I know they was trying to reach to a new audience but come on...they are a robotic race from out of space and he says my bad. Its like the writers could not think of something intelligent to say, its like the writer spilled something on the script and was like "oh dur whoops my bad!...hey hang on hur hur hur this would be funny *scribble scribble*). So again we ended up with my childhood memories marred by this unintelligent mess for the masses. In its defense they did try and bring the franchise to a new audience and it worked. It sparked a new toy line (which is terrible and will let my good friend Chris review those) and a upcoming game War For Cybertron (which looks badass). So I am glad for the renewed interest in this franchise and hopefully bringing new memories for the new generation of children as I once did back then. But...this brings me to Transformers 2...and oh boy what can I say about this? you will just have to wait for Part 2.

Rage meter:88%